Golden Globes Review, Ricky Gervais Gives Us Something to Laugh About

I've never been able to watch an awards show from start to finish. There's too much self-congratulating, forced jokes, and boring speeches. So, last night was a test for me. I cozied up on my bed, placed a bowl of Oreos in front of me, settled my yellow legal pad on my leg, took a deep breath and turned the channel to NBC. What I saw surprised me. It wasn't bad at all. Ricky Gervais was hilarious with his self-deprecating, dry British humor and there were some amazing speeches that were totally worth the three hours I sat in front of my television set.

Ricky Gervais. Generally at the beginning of an awards show, the host picks out a handful of celebrities to make fun of and everyone gets a laugh at their expense (grateful it wasn't them, probably). But Gervais didn't make fun of just one of them; he made fun of them all. "Just looking at some of these faces, reminds me of the great work done this year by cosmetic surgeons." And of course, he commented on the ridiculous importance of actors, "It is an honor to be here, in a room full of, what I consider to be, the most important people on the planet: actors." There was also the obligatory ripping of NBC (who, let's face it, deserves it), "I'm not use to these viewing figures, let's face it, nor is NBC." And I have to mention the joke that made me both incredibly embarrassed, but also doubled over with laughter, when Gervais spoke of a recent reduction of his wee willie member. "I've had a penis reduction. Just got the one now. And it is very tiny. But so are my hands, so when I'm holding it, it looks pretty big. And let's face it, I am usually holding it."

But seriously folks, let's get down to business: the night's winners. On the TV side of things, it was a night of first time winners: Julianna Marguiles won for her freshman drama The Good Wife , Toni Collette (United States of Tara) beat out Tina Fey to get her first Golden Globe, Michael C. Hall, with his first appearance since announcing his cancer battle, won for Dexter and Chloe Sevigny won for Big Love. Award favorites John Lithgow and Alec Baldwin both won for their roles, also. Glee and Mad Men rounded off the television category with their wins for best drama and comedy series, respectively. I am so proud of the Hollywood Foreign Press for not going with the status quoi by recognizing a great unique new comedy, that isn't 30 Rock.

On the movie side (and for my money, the less important side), Avatar won for Best Picture and James Cameron for Best Director, a nice thanks-for- making-us-a-lot-of-money pat on the back. Meryl Streep beat herself for the Best Actress in a Comedy/Musical and Sandra Bullock won for Best Actress in a Drama. I wish the Golden Globes was any indication for who will win the Oscars, because I would love to see Sandra Bullock, queen of the romantic comedies, win a golden man. Moving along, Mo'nique won a Best Supporting Actress Globe for Precious and had one of the best speeches of the night (more later). There Motion Picture categories were numerous, so to get a list all the winners, just click here.

The Cecil B.Demille Award was given to Martin Scorsese and was presented to him by two of his muses: Robert De Niro and Leonardo DiCaprio. De Niro described his relationship with Scorsese as an "old married couple...who no longer sleep together." He also went on to say that a Scorsese sex tape would be of him actually having sex with film. Yeah.

Speeches. Usually this is where I quickly change the channel, in fear of listening to an awkward/boring/self-deprecating speech. But, since I'm now a TV blogger, I figured why not? There were hits and misses, but overall they weren't bad. Mo'Nique started off the night, setting the bar high, with her very controlled and powerful tone. She began, "I'm in the midst of my dreams...I celebrate this award with everybody who's ever been touched. It's now time to tell. And it's okay." I couldn't have changed the channel if I wanted to. It's nice to see a first-time winner who is so humble and engaging.

Meryl Streep definitely earns an honorable mention for her humble, but somewhat tipsy speech. Before the winner was announced, Streep looked genuinely modest and embarrassed by both nominations. When she walked up to the microphone, the first words out of her mouth were, "I want to change my name to T-Bone...T-Bone Streep." Okay. She was obviously a bit nervous as she started to wring the award statue to death. But she pressed forward and concluded with a beautiful homage to a mother she clearly loved very much.

The night wasn't all about the glamour of an awards show, though. Keeping it all in prospective, the situation in Haiti wasn't far from the actors minds. They each wore ribbons to remind viewers of the devastation in Haiti. It's nice to see that even the "most important people on the planet" don't think they are.

Cougar Town Recap

Last night's Cougar Town episode showed us that relationships never get easier and that opposites most definitely attract(and I'm not talking about beer and orange juice coming together to make a delicious hillbilly mimosa).

I haven't had many conversations on the couch with Scott Foley, but telling him he would look good in a skirt isn't a topic I think would come up. Jules on the other hand started off a "stay-at-home-and-drink date," with the somewhat random thought, "you would make a pretty girl" (which is so true, but would be such a shame). Later in the episode, Jules and Jeff decide to become exclusive, for no other reason than Jules doesn't want him to be scooped up by someone else. Ultimately she makes the very grown- up decision of telling Jeff she's not ready for the exclusive.

On the other side of town, Laurie's new guy, Smith Frank, is still around and apparently changing her perspective on relationships. "I feel a little weird...because you didn't try to have sex with me. I mean I guess it's nice to wake up with my panties on, I just don't know what to make of it." But when he leaves for school, in effect leaving her, she decides to have some revenge sex with his buddy Doug. Welcome to the logic of Laurie. Grayson tries to deter this destructive behavior, by sending Travis to stop her. The fact that grown men think it's okay to send a teenager to impede a booty call, is so fantastically irresponsible that it would make me mad, if it weren't so ridiculous. Anyway, this moment leads arguably the biggest moment of the show, when Laurie and Grayson kiss at his house. Poor Andy, who can't keep a secret without getting hellacious heartburn, is walking by as it happens.

Speaking of Andy, his teenage school girl crush on Bobby is getting a little out of hand. Andy's love is no less prevalent than when his wife says, "Seriously want him more." And he responds with, "I can't." I know creator Bill Lawrence is keen on "bromances" (J.D. + Turk 4ever), but I think Ian Gomez is better than this.

And of course the best thing that came out of this episode is Bobby's game Penny in a Can. The rules are simple, "if the penny goes in the can you get a point, if it doesn't, you don't." Genius.

Some memorable quotes from last night:

"I've already done six things to it in my head. May I touch it?"(Barb's response when Jules decides to show Jeff off)

"I want to write music that matters, Jeff." (Jules during "jam session" with Jeff and Grayson)

"You're mixing metaphors like crazy." (Grayson's response to Bobby's sage advice)

Conan O'Brien Not Falling in Line with NBC proposed late night time slots

However you fall in the NBC late night debate, you can't help but feel sorry for Conan O'Brien who seems to be getting the raw end of the deal. In a statement released today, O'Brien confirms that he will not be hosting the Tonight Show if it indeed moves to 12:05.

NBC announced recently that it would be cancelling The Jay Leno Show and moving Jay to 11:35, Conan to 12:05, and Jimmy to 1:05am.

In response to possibly going to another network (i.e. Fox), Conan says he hasn't had any such offers,yet.

My thoughts: It's no secret that NBC has been struggling with it's primetime schedule, ever since Friends and Seinfeld went off the air. This move seems not only desperate, but misguided and completely unprofessional. My only hope is that NBC execs will see the error of their way and return to previously scheduled programming. But, they haven't seen their error for the past decade, so that's a real shot in the dark.

Chuck Review: Did Chuck's upgrade to Super-Spy ruin the series?

"Guys. I know Kung Fu"

These were the last lines we heard in last April’s season finale of Chuck, after he was upgraded with a new version of the Intersect. As a fan of Chuck I asked myself, "Would Chuck 2.0 overshadow the awkward and clumsy Buy More Chuck that fans have come to love?" And I can say with absolute certainty that last night's premiere erased any doubts I might have had. The super-spy element just added to the awesomeness that is Chuck. And the fact that he still needs Sarah to save his butt during missions, speaks to the credit of the writers who clearly love this show more than wanting to get more ad revenue.

Now, what does this upgrade mean for Sarah and Chuck? Flashbacks, that went back six months, answered that question. Uploaded with Intersect spy skills, Chuck gets the opportunity to go to spy school (which he promptly flunks out of). Sarah knows that spies don't have the luxury of falling in love, so she asks Chuck to run away with her. You would think that emotions-driven Chuck would jump at the opportunity, but when he met her at the train station, he declined the offer. What?! Although his explanation of wanting to protect his family and friends is understandable and completely in character, I still couldn't help feeling as betrayed and disappointed as Sarah was. Clearly the writers want to play this romance out longer, because no series wants to be the next Moonlighting.

The jaw-dropping moment of the show happened when Buy More Store Manager and let's face it, a bit of a dictator, Emmett Milbarge, was killed by an assassin. Further evidence that calling an assassin a "pussy," is not the smartest thing to do. I did find it funny that, in all his bravado that Emmett showed the assassin he wasn't carrying guns but two big canisters of Mace.

There's nothing like misguided friends to add comedy to any dramatic situation. I am, of course, speaking of Morgan, Jeff, and Lester. It was nice to come back to this long departed series, and still find Morgan listening to Jeff and Lester's horrible advice (they're like Oprah to him). I loved the fact that Morgan was living in the Buy More viewing room, after being fired by Benny Hanna restaurant (I lost my mojo. I couldn't flip the shrimp") and he thinks it's totally appropriate to do so.

Some of my favorite lines from last night came for Jeff and Lester during the housewarming party they convinced Morgan to have (he and Chuck are now roommates):

"Now our party is a sausage fest."

"Those studs inside are going to ruin are chances with the medium hot chicks from underpants unlimited."

Ghost Whisperer recap: Comfort food for the TV soul

Comfort Food: you know how it's going to look, taste, and make you feel, but even the most adventurous person keeps coming back to it. That describes Ghost Whisperer to a tee, with its formulaic format; it seems to have the homey, comforting feeling that keeps people coming back for more. And last night's episode was no different. So sit back, put on your Snuggie, and prepare yourself for some comfort TV recap.

Remember when Ned was a precocious twelve-year-old boy and then the next episode he was seventeen and in high school? Well now he's now in college, apparently DJing for a radio station. He's multi-talented. The "shtick" of the radio show is prank calls, where a boyfriend calls his girlfriend to break up with her, and they both get a prize. I have to say my first reaction to this introduction was: can sweet Ned be dabbling in douchebaggery? Surely, not. And of course it all turns out to be a hoax. But just as his broadcast was ending, in storms angry listener, Maggie Stevens, who screams this was the exact same phone call that her husband, Jack, made to her. He dumped her on air, saying he found someone else. Shortly after she leaves the boards start sparking, Ned's co-host Noah's ear starts bleeding, and Killer is written on a laptop.

A key part of unraveling a ghost's story is Melinda's visions (which are sometimes so horrifying, why she's not in a padded room with many very nice opiates is beyond me). In this week’s "vision dream thing," she comes upon a cracked mirror with bits of hair and blood stuck in it. Her vision also includes her creepy kid Aiden who holds out a picture of daisies and says, “it was his undoing." Thanks, Damian. Cracks begin to form in the picture and blood pours down from them. Melinda also experiences how the ghost truly died, when her car starts filling up with water and playing a Coldplay song (which is haunting everyone involved in the incident. Chris Martin must be behind this!). I often wonder if she felt like screaming, "I get it! You died hitting your head on glass. P.S. could you skip the bloody bits and drowning episodes, perhaps?"

Fueled by her visions she visits Maggie, Jack, and his current wife Daisy (see how the daisies image comes back here?). Melinda accomplishes both alienating and discomforting each unwilling participant, as she does every episode. And really, if someone came to your house and said, "I see dead people," would you believe them? We learn from these visits that Maggie has been haunted by the Coldplay song, and her radio inexplicably turned on to the college radio station the previous day. Prior to Melinda’s visit, Jack and Daisy experience a haunting which includes the Coldplay song (do we really need to hear it again? Chris Martin!) and cracked glass which ends up spewing shards of glass in their face. Exciting. From this visit we learn the identity of the ghost, Bruce Adler, Daisy's missing ex-fiancé.

Even though Melinda alienates and makes hostile these people, they always come back. Preferably to her shop, please. Jack confesses that the radio phone call was all scripted and Maggie knew full well it was, but she took it too far. All he wanted was the free trip to the Bahamas. For her part, Maggie admits (after being nearly drowned to death by ghost Bruce, who blames her for his drowning) that she never trusted that Jack was faithful or that he loved her. She called the station to participate, hoping that he would confess to infidelity. She also suspected Daisy as being the other woman, as Jack and Daisy worked together and he named her as the other woman during the prank call. Stupid, Jack. Maggie apparently called Bruce (who was also plagued with jealousy) before the broadcast. Enraged by Daisy’s betrayal he raced down the road, getting into the car accident that would end his life.

The truth finally coming to the forefront, we get our Hallmark moment. Bruce finds peace and goes to the light, but not before telling Maggie that the love she wants isn’t a romantic love. The love she seeks is, “all around us." Cue Melinda tearing up, as she does every episode (I have no idea how Jennifer Love Hewitt has anymore tears left. I bow down to your tear ducts, Love) because truthfully the moment, although cheesy, is heartwarming. But that's this show's appeal, the unapologetic way it goes for the cheese and doesn't look back. And that in itself is comforting.

A Different World side note: Dwayne Wayne was on tonight! But where were his flip-up glasses?